If you've ever heard me say the words "crayon" or "rural," it should be pretty obvious I hail from below the Mason-Dixon line, and before I knew any better I spent the better part of my early 20s trying to live north of it. You guys, the South is the nadir of public health. Lots of people live below the poverty line. Our school systems are prettaaaaay, prettaaaaay not great, our most visible ambassadors tend towards the embarrassing, and a shocking number of people are somehow still contracting syphilis. But all that awfulness makes us scrappy, and it shows in the outstanding music we export.

Plus, our food is way better. Bask in THAT truth.