When I wasn't sleeping on my parent's couch, had a boyfriend, and didn't hate myself, I used to spend some evenings coming up with categorized shopping lists. Normally, this would consist of going to several stores to attain the appropriate products; meat markets, an Asian shop for pot sticker wraps, Wal-Mart for a handle of vodka, an organic market so I can feel good about myself. I loved my lists. I printed them on clean white paper with columns for "produce," "dairy," "meat," and "miscellaneous." I used correct grammar, I folded them nicely in my bag, and I was off for the day.

While grocery shopping has a place in my heart, the people that exist in the grocery stores do not. Markets are overcrowded, people are rude, carts run into you, moms let their kids scream for fruit roll-ups, bright colors and big letters tempt you to buy ridiculous items, lines are always long, and robot check out machines never work correctly. I get anxiety when I sit too close to another party at a restaurant so this experience makes me want to up my Prozac dosage. 

The best way for me to sail the oceans of a grocery store is to put on my headphones, remember to breathe, and listen to a collection of songs that can get me through the experience. I need songs that take me out of the setting, remind me how odd the world around me is, or a solid anthem that makes me feel like everyone really just needs to back the fuck up off me and let me grocery shop.